...Wait - What Does the "QIA+" Stand For? (Part 1)

LGBTQIA+ rights and freedoms are one of the most popular topics in society today. It seems like every day you can scroll through Twitter and find a different celebrity sharing their "Coming Out Story". I think this is a truly beautiful thing, and I feel so blessed to live in a society where when people can reveal their truths, and they are welcomed into the Queer* community with open arms and a colorful flag of your choosing.
*Don't worry, we will be discussing the use of this term
Everyone should be allowed to live as exactly who they want to be, and let's be real, who honestly cares who you do or don't lay down with in bed at night? However, as the popularity of LGBTQIA+ rights continues to sky-rocket, there are probably some terms and sexualities in the community that you've never heard of or that you may be confused about.
...And that's where I come in!
(A fair warning that there is a lot of sarcasm present in this article, but please don't mistake humor for being inconsiderate. I love and am so proud of all member of the LGBTQIA+ community.)
Queer:
This is a tricky term. A lot of people still don't feel comfortable saying it, because for so long it was connected to so many negative feelings in the gay community. However, the LGBTQIA+ community is taking it back!
Queer is now used as an umbrella-term, of sorts, to identify any/all members of the LGBTQIA+ community. The general usage of this word is still tricky. I would not recommend calling someone "queer" unless they have specifically told you that it would be acceptable to use to describe them. This is also a term that is generally used inside the LGBTQIA+ community, but you may get weird looks if you're a straight person who tends to throw the word around a lot.
The Sexualities:
Romantic Attraction:
I want you to repeat after me: Sexual attraction is not the same as romantic attraction.
A huge misconception that has been around for forever, basically, is that if you are attracted to someone, it is automatically assumed that you want to have sex with them. But, surprise! You can be attracted to someone romantically, and not want to have sex with them at all!
Example: A man could identify as bisexual and hetero-romantic, this means he is sexually attracted to men and women, but only has romantic feelings for women.
Asexual:
People can feel no sexual attraction at all? WHAT? I mean, you have to like SOMEONE, right?
Wrong!
If you haven't figured it out yet, asexuality happens when people feel no sexual attraction at all. None. They aren't asexual because they "haven't found the right person", or because they "had too many bad sexual experiences". They are asexual because they do not feel any sexual attraction towards anyone, ever. It's as simple as that.
However, just because someone identifies as asexual, might not mean that they don't feel romantic attraction. It depends on the individual, as most of these sexualities do.
Demisexual:
Demisexuals are people that can only be sexually attracted to people named Demi, obviously. (Hey Demi Lovato, where you at, girl? *smirking side-eye emoji*)
Demisexuality occurs when people can only feel sexual attraction towards someone after they have formed an emotional connection with them. This does not mean that they are "prudes" and just "don't put out". It means that they have to feel very close to someone in order to want to have sex with them. In all honesty, demisexuality is another term that can confuse a lot of people, mainly because it can be combined with other sexualities to make one SUPER DUPER sexuality.
Example: A woman could identify as demi-homosexual, this means that she is demisexual and homosexual. Which means that she is sexually attracted to women, but only if she has formed an emotional bond with them.
Greysexual:
Greysexuality is when someone is only turned on when they read "Fifty Shades of Grey". Absolutely not. No. Yikes. Nope.
Greysexuality happens when someone sometimes has sexual feelings towards someone else, but usually doesn't. This does not mean that they are "confused asexuals" or "can't make up their minds". This, like demisexuality, can be combined with other sexualities.
Example: A woman could identify as grey-heterosexual, this means that she rarely feels sexual attraction to someone, but when and if she does, it only occurs towards men.
Pansexual:
You wanna have sex with cooking pans? What's next, flatware? SILVERWARE?!
Pansexuality is not being sexually attracted to cooking utensils. Someone considers themselves pansexual when they are attracted to all genders. Now you may be asking yourself "what's the difference between pansexuals and bisexuals"? Bisexuals feel attraction towards men and women. Pansexuals feel attraction towards men, women, trans men, trans women, agender and genderfluid individuals, and so on. Basically, pansexuals love everyone. However, this does not mean that they want to immediately sleep with everyone they come in to contact with. That is their personal preference, for them to decide.

-

As I'm sure you saw in the title of this post, there is a part two to this, where I discuss gender identity and preferred pronouns! Make sure to go check that one out!

Have a gay day!
--Ali

Comments

  1. alexisgingellSeptember 18, 2017 at 9:33 AM

    This is so well put together but so simple for people who are confused or what-not that they could understand. I'm part of the LGBTQIA+ community too and I don't know some of these terms. The Grey thing was hilarious, all of the kudos for that. Hashtag sass queen. I also love this because a person could be identifying as one thing but reading these could give them an answer they may find their answer. Like you have Greysexual thoughts but didn't know what it was and identify as Gay or Lesbian, this would help and give a lot of answers/closure for them.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousSeptember 20, 2017 at 8:34 AM

    This is very helpful! I know very little about the LGBTQIA+ community, so reading your post was very informative and helpful!

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownSeptember 20, 2017 at 8:16 PM

    This is very informative and well written! I knew some of this but not nearly enough!

    ReplyDelete
  4. UnknownSeptember 27, 2017 at 5:15 PM

    This is an amazing post. I have never been to interested in this topic and you made some points stand out. Very informative, tons I didn't know about the subject but you made sure to explain very well.

    ReplyDelete
  5. UnknownOctober 19, 2017 at 9:36 PM

    Hey Ali! Great job on this post, I absolutely loved it! I will definitely be checking back each week to read more. :) Your writing is super good, I love your humor and your voice. You are unique and entertaining. I also think that using that kind of light-hearted approach on a subject like this may help people to be more open to talking about it, which is great! I am so glad that you went over a few of the lesser-known sexualities. I once read an article somewhere that was about sexualities and terms that people may never have heard of, and the demisexual one really spoke to me. I feel that way, and although I wouldn't have considered it an entirely different sexuality, it is really nice to know that there are other people who feel the same! Keep doing what you're doing, girl, it's really great! <3

    ReplyDelete
  6. UnknownNovember 3, 2017 at 12:35 PM

    This is a very informative and creative blog. You explained everything very well and I love the topic. It's something that I'm very interesting in learning about because I'm part of this community too and am still learning more about it. Thanks for the information.

    ReplyDelete

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